so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
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It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
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just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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