When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
