I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
