I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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