I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
