Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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