Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
