Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
