Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
