I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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