He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize