I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize