I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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