i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
