I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I am never drinking with the goths again.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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