did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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