hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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