his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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