Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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