Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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