Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Still dying that you shit outside
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
