i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
