so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
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I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
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We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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