you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
