you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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