im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
