i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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