yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
