This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
MIDGETS
????
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
