$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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