oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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