He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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