Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
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