I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
