I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
