you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just pee around me
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
The Olympian is in my bed
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