I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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