It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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