"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
