I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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