My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
