D3 body, D1 cock
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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