I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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