I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
