Jerry, you need to find god
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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