oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
