and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
