I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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