He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
