i was born a porn star she said
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
