i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
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I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
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I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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