I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
