Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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