Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
