ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
