They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
