I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
